Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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