I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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