Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
