i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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