Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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