Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
