TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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