I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
