I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
