Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
