well you can't waste a boner
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize