I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
