I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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