He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
