This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
