NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY