I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
