I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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