Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
