I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
