if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
