im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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