Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
