she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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