it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
