i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
