So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
