I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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