Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
