Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
