i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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