You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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