I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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