It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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