how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your penis caused this!
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