Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
