Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
