Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yo dont text me then not text me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
