I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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