we're chasing vodka with high fives
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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