I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
