He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
