Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
