Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize