I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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