So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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