I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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