im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
