Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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