So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
