We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize