i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
