to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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