I'm going to jail i love you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
