Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just tell him i said nine months
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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