i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
