Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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