Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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