Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode