What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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