nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
