Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
