And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He felt like a one man threesome
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
