so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
