Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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