do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
