just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
