You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's shark week go big or go home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
