I'm gonna have a badass scar
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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