There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
